


star-crossed and giving up

by emptyswimmingpools



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, Episode: s03e06 Girl Meets Upstate, F/M, Introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 05:15:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7421392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emptyswimmingpools/pseuds/emptyswimmingpools
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a moment, she’d almost believed she could have this. Have <em>him</em>. Like one of the only things she’d ever hoped for had the potential to be within her hand for long enough so she could tighten her grip. But the moment passed as quickly as it came, slipping through time like it was never there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	star-crossed and giving up

Maya had known who he had chosen almost in an instant: he’d looked at her with this glint in his eyes, like she hung all the stars in the sky. (And perhaps she had, in Lucas’s own universe, though not this one.) For a moment, she’d almost believed she could have this. Have _him_. Like one of the only things she’d ever hoped for had the potential to be within her hand for long enough so she could tighten her grip. But the moment passed as quickly as it came, slipping through time like it was never there, and she’d instantly roundabouted back to the default ‘hope is for suckers’ mode.

She’d said, as clearly as she could, “You chose Riley.” She ignored the way her mind fogged and her heart seemed to stutter and how she was uncertain at what she was doing. That part was easy—she’d been living with that weight on her shoulder for years, wearing her seemingly carefree attitude as armour and her smile as a disguise. What she couldn’t ignore no matter how hard she tried, however, was the way Lucas faltered in his seat: how his expression seemed hurt by Maya’s words, as if he hadn’t quite expected her to say them.

Back when they’d first met, Maya had seen the look on Riley’s face at the sight of Lucas. She’d known that he’d be a big part of her life, but she hadn’t known _him_ , so pushing Riley towards him hadn’t been a big deal: she hadn’t known what she was giving up. But at the bay window, with their fate held in her hands, she’d known _exactly_ what she was giving up. That hurt—not that she’d admit it. She was giving up campfires and laughter and nicknames and, more importantly, _herself_. Maya was always most like herself around Lucas.

And though she was reluctant, she had to do it—for Riley’s sake. Because Riley deserved a nice boy like Lucas, and Maya did not. That was that, and she wasn’t going to let what her heart wanted—Lucas—get in the way of that. She’d always been destined for an unhappy ending; this was just Maya willing it to come sooner, closer, and while hitting her much harder.

**Author's Note:**

> i injured my hand yesterday so this hurt a fair amount to write but i still did it anyway bc gmupstate gave me a lot of feelings
> 
> im on tumblr [@albertorosedne](https://albertorosedne.tumblr.com/) come hmu


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